Monster
by Vethronix
Summary: What happens when Connor tries to confront his father and ask him why they can't be a normal family? If you're not comfortable with yaoi/incest,please turn around and walk away. Those who love this pairing,enjoy Rated M for later chapters,oh you know exactly what.


Monster.. that's probably the only thing that selfish careless boy thinks of me,the older man thought to himself while sitting in his cabin. It's been a few months since the partnership between an Assassin and a Templar had begun. Despite their similar goal,father and son kept running into impossible obstacles, never managing to get over the fact that they're actually of the same blood and how they should find a way to forgive each other's mistakes.

Stubborn,selfish,careless. That's what both of them were and it was so obvious how subtly similar the two of them are. Neither wanted to admit how they started feeling better,maybe even relieved, since they didn't have to focus on chasing and killing each other, but concentrating on defeating the same enemy. However, neither displayed much synergy, probably because they didn't want to show how they actually clicked together.

As grey eyes glanced through the small window,noticing how sun hasn't risen yet,Haytham stood up from the chair he's been seated on for a few hours,walking outside for a little stroll on fresh air. The man leaned against the door,taking a deep breath as salty scent hit his nose. Such a familiar smell,he thought, remembering his father bitterly. There was no time to be sentimental, especially not now,when all he wanted to do is relax and empty his mind from unnecessary thoughts.

There was a quiet sound of cracking of wooden floor. Someone else had hard time sleeping,and it wasn't just him. Without bothering to check, a sigh escaped his lips,managing to focus on his own thoughts instead of the approaching stranger. Once the night wanderer came closer,his face seemed more familiar in the moonlight.

"What are you doing?",a rather quiet, authentic voice mumbled,not expecting anyone to be up at this hour, especially not his father. What could possibly be on his mind? He seemed worried.. if not.. upset?

"I might as well ask you the same,but that's none of my concern and I really couldn't care less,boy.",Haytham practically barked defensively, not wanting to engage in any sort of conversation, especially not now with Connor, out of all people.

Cold, that's all he's ever going to be,the younger of the two hung his head,not bothering to show how bitter it felt to be rejected every time he tried to start a normal conversation, like every father and son should have.

"I..just. You seem troubled. I was just wondering-",Connor was cut in the middle of his sentence by a pair of piercing grey eyes,showing no interest in what he wanted to say. "I'll leave you alone.",he sighed deeply, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he retreated to the other side of the ship,staying outside, however.

Why did everything have to be so complicated, Haytham thought once the boy got out of line of sight,or so it seemed. The half-native never left in the first place. He stayed close,examining his father's behaviour,position, look,from afar.

Neglected, that's how he felt ever since the older man began acting the way he did. Was he like that even with Ziio? Connor sure hoped not,or that'd break him. His mother loved that man,for some reason, but he never managed to crack that puzzle,finding it too difficult to get to the man's hidden, true,self. If only they could be a real family. That's all he longed for,aside from destroying Templars from the core.

A low, barely audible sound escaped his throat as his eyes shut closed. The very second he opened them again, there was a faint image of the broken family, his mother,father,and him,happily standing there. It made his chest burn unpleasantly, almost like fire was building up in his gut. He gripped his shirt,near heart area,lowering his head as he sobbed quietly.

Never has he felt like this,never did it hurt more,knowing that a part of his family was so close,but at the same time,farther than before. Why must life be full of disappointment?

A few minutes had passed and Connor felt somewhat uncomfortable, as if someone was staring at him. It was Haytham. The man came nearby the very second he heard mourning sounds from the other side of the ship.

"What's the matter, boy?",he asked, not sure if he wanted to know in the beginning. Haytham wasn't a bad man,not at all. The thing he feared, was getting way too close, or even worse,getting attached to the only meaningful thing left in his life.

As the question hit his ear,he jumped slightly,turning around to eye the older man. Could he possibly ask this because he was concerned, or just to mock his weakness? "Nothing's wrong. I don't know why you care anyway.",he rolled eyes,playing hard to get,just like his father did. Stubborn,exactly like the other.

Seems like there was no going back now. Why not explain exactly what's troubling him? The worst thing that can happen is Haytham not caring about what he wanted to say, but,he was used to that. The younger of the two took a deep breath,breaking the silence which lasted for a little while.

"Why can't we be a normal family..? Why do you constantly push me away every time I try to socialise.. every time I want to get to know you.. after all,you're not just anyone.. you're my father, and I.. I need you... I know that you don't understand that,but.. it's worth trying to explain... I don't have anyone.. and neither do you. You think your stupid Templars are going to be by your side? Where are they now? Why aren't they looking for you?! Think. Who went to find you when you mysteriously disappeared? That damn Lee or me?",he practically snarled,controlling himself from bursting into tears from tension.

All he could do is wait,listen,feeling guilty at one point. it was true. Charles probably didn't even notice his disappearance, but on the other hand,Connor went to find him,despite the raging storm. How can he still be so selfish and stupid,focusing on his needs and thoughts,but constantly pushing his precious creation away whenever he tried to get close,create a bond they both desperately needed..

As a sigh escaped his lips, Haytham shook his head lightly, placing a hand on the younger male's shoulder in attempt to make him stop yelling. "You'll wake up others. Calm down,Connor..",he stated,calmer and softer than usually. "There's a reason I'm acting this way..",since the boy was completely honest with him,why not return the favour and explain precisely why he was like this.

Connor waited,feeling slightly anxious from the upcoming story he was about to be told. Was he ready? Should've he ever started the subject? Dark eyes focused on something lower,not wanting to meet the piercing grey pair.

"All these things I,or you,have said about me not caring.. of course it's not true. Both you and I know that it's not... so why ask? Why must you seek my attention..? I didn't have a father either..",he paused for a moment, not wanting to remember the day Edward was killed, because that wasn't the current subject. "You're not a child anymore. I can't pamper you. I can't afford to have you too close... Because.. ",he rubbed the bridge of his nose, remembering Ziio. "Everyone I've ever loved is gone. My father,your mother.. and I don't want to lose you.",his usually calm,stern voice cracked at one point,making him sound weak,and his cold mask break.

Connor watched in shock. Can this possibly be happening? He's been longing this his whole life,but now that he had it,he didn't know how he felt. The younger male clenched his fists,letting his nails dig into the skin,trying to control his emotions. "Is this true.. father? Are you saying this from the heart or just like every other word that escaped your lips?",he mumbled quietly, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"I wouldn't lie. Especially not about something like this.. We both know I'm better than that..",he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, looking on a side. Tension was unbearable. Connor was fighting his primal instinct to just embrace the man and hold him for dear life, like he's never been able to,but there was his conscience, telling him it won't work like in fairytales, because this, most certainly, wasn't one.

"Why did you leave mum then..? Why did you abandon us, if you cared as much as you said? If you stayed,she would.. she'd still be with us...",he choked back a tear,staying strong,even if he already displayed how moved he was by this all. "It all would've been different... better than this..."

The grey haired male just stood there,just as confused as the other,not knowing what to say. If he mentioned Templars, he knew that the boy would snap and get angry again, and he didn't want that,not now when they finally started bonding properly. "I'm sorry, Ratonhnhaké:ton...",was the only thing he managed to say.

The very second the boy heard his name,he felt his heart skip a beat. Never did he expect to be called his real name,especially not by his father. The man even pronounced it properly, making him ache even more. Connor relaxed his fists,crossing arms over his chest to grip at the muscle so he could calm down. Of course it'd be better if he had someone to embrace and let go,but he couldn't ruin the little something they had now. "Father... You.. called me by my name..",it felt strange saying that out loud,but hell,he was confused. "Do you really care about me..? Why can't we be a family..?",he hung his head,looking at the floor.

Cold breeze pushed the boy's hood off,but he didn't bat an eye, nor did he bother putting it back on its place. His haif flew around until the wind seemed to calm down. Never in his life was Haytham more aware of how similar his son was to Ziio. So beautiful, wild,untamed,just like he should be. But was he supposed to think of him that way? It was the truth, but is the truth always good?

The half-native kept his gaze focused on something distant, not wanting to face his father. Atmosphere around them created an awkward feeling already, and now,he could even sense the gaze which didn't look away from him, making him shift uncomfortably. "Well..?",he asked after some time,since he wasn't given the answer to his questions.

"I love you, Connor. You mean a lot more to me than you think .. but we can never be a family. It's bad enough that we're working together now. I'm a Templar, you're an Assassin. Things don't work that way.",the older man stated without hesitation,not thinking for a second that this might actually hurt the other.

All of these things ran through Connor's head,making him feel dizzy and slightly upset. Is that the reason? Them being in opposite factions? Did Haytham forget who saved him during that storm,who bothered enough to go after him? Who practically admitted how much he needs him in his life?

The only rational thing he could do at the moment is scream internally. This man drove him to the snapping point. So selfish and mean. It wasn't fair. "I hate you!",Connor snarled,pushing past the older male as he went inside quickly,slamming the door of his cabin and lying on bed,curled up in fetal position. He was still a child,and it was visible in his actions. All he wanted was a nice life,and not this disappointment, which always seemed to get him one way or another. But, clearly, there's nothing to be done now.

Haytham stood there,in shock,even if his face showed no signs of it. He knew better than to feel hurt by empty words. Of course the boy didn't hate him,he just felt like that because he didn't get exactly what he wanted from their conversation. But then again, what does he want? Peace? After everything that happened? As a sigh escaped his lips, the man went after him slowly,wanting to set things clear, if he could reason with his son.

Once he stepped in the cabin,he noticed the younger of the two curled in his bed,not moving an inch,barely even breathing, because his whole body and head were covered with a blanket. "Connor.. please stop being a child.. You have to understand that under these circumstances, we can't just choose to be a normal family.. Things don't work that way. Don't be angry with me. Try to understand..",he spoke softly,taking a seat on a side of the bed.

All he did was shift away,giving him space even if he didn't bother to look up at him. Never did he feel hurt like this. Not even when his mother died. Neglected,rejected,abandoned, that's how he felt,even if it's not as dramatic as it was in his young,inexperienced eyes. A hand rested on his back,fondling him,showing affection, and that he actually cared and didn't want to see him like this.

"I know this might hurt a lot.. but please understand... I want to live a normal life with you.. to make up for everything I've missed while you were growing up,to try to gain your trust again.. I know it doesn't work that way and that you'll never forgive me...",he shook head,rubbing his temples with one hand as he kept caressing the covered boy gently, feeling him shiver at contact.

At one point, Connor sat up,avoiding to look directly at his father for a moment and then he finally did it. The younger male moved closer, wrapping his arms ever so lightly around Haytham's frame,pulling him close as he leaned his chin on his shoulder,closing his eyes in attempt to relax. He needed this,and he didn't care if he was going to be pushed away.

To his surprise,a pair of arms wrapped around him as well,pulling them even closer together than they were before. Heat rushed to his face,noticing that they were never this intimate with each other. It felt,almost,like magic. His heart was beating faster. He could've sworn it was noticeable and that the other can hear it. "Calm down,boy..",a calm voice said into his ear as one of the man's hands went to stroke his son's hair gently.

This was strange, even for the older male,never being this affectionate with anyone, but Ziio. And then he realised, Connor was too similar to Ziio,that's what made things harder for him. He constantly saw her in his eyes,and it hurt so much. The bitter sweet feeling filled his body. Having the boy close almost felt like having her near,maybe even better,but he wouldn't admit it,not even to himself.

It was like a dream and he never wanted to wake up. "I love you,Ratonhnhaké:ton.. Please don't forget that.. I'm sorry I can't make you happy like your mother could.. However,I promise.. I promise I'll do my best to make up for everything I wronged.",he stated,just as calmly as before,moving a hair strand away from the boy's face,pushing it behind his ear and moving away a little to take a better look.

Those painted marks on Connor's face were messed up because of the tears which slid down his cheeks every once in a while. He was so beautiful, even when crying. Haytham leaned his forehead against the younger male's, still holding him close,like before. Their noses brushed against each other lightly, but not so often. Never have they been closer,and both of them could admit how nice it felt,for a change.

The boy moved his hands to the front of Haytham's coat,gripping it as he pulled him closer unconsciously,lightly brushing his lips over the older man's. He was scared,anxious, of his father's response to such display of affection,but it didn't stop him from kissing him like this. Every rational thought disappeared from his mind the very moment their lips connected. It felt so right, even if it was a complete opposite.

The first thing that came to Haytham's mind was why the boy chose to do this, out of all things,but then he understood. He was seeking comfort he never had. Simple embrace wasn't enough. Kiss sealed everything, that's why he wasn't angry, and he can never be. Instead of moving away and lecturing him how this isn't appropriate, Haytham decided to relax for once in his life and give in completely.

Connor was stunned when his father's lips pressed closer to his own,and unlike his first,shy kiss,this one was more meaningful, more or less passionate, but completely loving, if nothing else. His lips curled in a smile as he moved away a little to look at him. The boy's face was radiating heat,especially when Haytham started fondling the blushing places, letting his fingers trace gently down his cheek and drawn marks,wiping leftover tears off his face.

This was,so far,the best feeling he's ever experienced. It fueled him,made him feel wanted and special,unlike before,it gave meaning to his sad life. "What's on your mind, boy?",the grey eyed man was the first to break the silence with his question, but it didn't ruin the mood.

"I've never been so happy... in my entire life.. And it's all thanks to you,father... I'm so glad you stayed.. and didn't kill me back in the church..",he choked on a sob. Before he knew it,tears were streaming down his face,being overwhelmed by emotions and unable to control himself.

"It would be the worst mistake I could never forgive myself..",Haytham responded to the part in the church where he almost killed his precious treasure. The boy didn't say anything, but,leaned in and pressed their lips in a more heated kiss,wrapping one arm around his father's neck as he intertwined his fingers in the dark grey locks, gently stroking them.

Haytham shifted a little,placing his hands on the younger male's hips as he pulled him closer,on his lap and leaned against the wall for support,never breaking the kiss nor wasting a breath on pointless words. Their lips practically melted together,brushing against each other from one side to another. At one point,he felt brave enough to part them a little,letting his tongue slide over the older man's bottom lip as if asking for permission to deepen the kiss.

As if every reasonable thought left his mind,along with his conscience, Haytham responded to this by pushing his own tongue into his son's mouth,shivering when it met his own. He explored every inch of his smaller heated mouth,focusing on breathing through his nose to make the neverending kiss last as long as possible. Connor simply repeated the older male's actions,not finding it hard to do so since their bodies were similar to that point.

However,even that was meant to end. Both men panted softly,letting their foreheads remain against each other as their eyes locked together. "Don't leave me..",Connor mumbled after some time,clinging even closer to the elder, almost possessively. "I could never leave you..",was the only thing the man could say. "Go to sleep now.. we have work to do..",as if rational thoughts hit him again.

As Haytham stood up to leave,the boy gripped his sleeve,pulling him back down on bed and before he could protest,they were lying on their sides,one spooning the other and patiently waiting to finally fall asleep after such stressful day.

[[End of chapter 1. It'll be updated really soon,if not,maybe even tonight.]]


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